worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize