i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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