i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
