Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
