As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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