And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
