sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
