drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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