Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
