Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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