operation harelip BJ is a go
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
