I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Randomize
