I wannas sexs uuuuu
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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