every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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