He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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