The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize