best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
