forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you would pick up someone in the library
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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