So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
