Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My dick has a subreddit
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
