Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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