how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize