On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
