remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize