Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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