like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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