nut hugger
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
