There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize