idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
