i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
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I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize