so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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