Pappa wants mamma naked
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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