the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
As shirtless as possible
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
