I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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