How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize