Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
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You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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