During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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