chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
