If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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