margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Don't make out with my wife yet
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
