and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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