youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
