you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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