he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
only if we run a train.
done.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
