And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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