That's intense
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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