we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
