She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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