they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
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He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
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I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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