i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
