grandma shit on top of the toilet
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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