she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
