Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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