I just pynch a tree in the face
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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