I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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